Contentment
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don’t have. “Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it’s not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I’m crazy about her because she’s also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not.”
Somewhere along the way, you’ll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 90% of what you’re looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%.
Let’s say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: “I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .” Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt.
Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That’s only 10% of what you don’t have. Don’t throw away the 90% that you already have! That’s not. Add to your spouse’s 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you’ve accumulated as lovers. Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don’t have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. But I’m not just talking about marriage.
I’m talking about life!
About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children. About your lifestyles.
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he’s missing? “They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they’ve got personal videos!” I guarantee you’ll be miserable for the entire trip! Don’t live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class — because they’re not riding in a private Lear Jet?
The main message: If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are - IS first class!
Are ya purposefully directing this post at someone? *grin*
did you copy this post off some site? Sounds so aunt agony.
Dude, I feel your pain…
Sera > shuttup. The dude’s in pain here… nothing to do with another person. :p
Evie > very well written piece of work eh. Took a lot of pain to gain such enlightenment leh
Actually I think Sera might be right….but then again what do I know..
a divorcee mate of mine sums it up quite nicely; “Dude..people change, expectations change. If both of us dun get it, then everything else dun mean shite”
There are so many people unhappy in their relationship, and many who are happy after finally getting somebody not who is “better” but who they fit together with better.
Fishoil and garlic..now this is a reason for breakup lol. Yeah those kind of thinking patterns make them term marriage meaningless, but it’s not my goal anyways.
People can do whatever they like, but at least do it full power and without regrets.
Once upon a time Jesus went into the desert. To make a long story short, finally when he was turning into a raving loony due to thirst, hunger and despair then the devil came and tempted him.
And he very nearly flunked the test. But he passed.
The End
Moral of the story: Don’t judge. You never know what you’ll do if temptation suddenly presents itself to you. You may or may not pass.
What I mean is your post is not about contentment, it’s about resisting temptation.
Those two are mutually exclusive sets of emotions.
I like you Mandrake, you are very good at this Aunt Agony, feel-good thing ; )